Dramabook. That's what I called Facebook last night. I was in a mood. One of those, “I'm sick of everyone's shit” moods where you just throw up a status and walk away. Here's what I said.
I used to love Facebook. It was the place that I got all caught up with high school friends I hadn't seen in years and laughed at raunchy jokes on people's walls. But lately, I've noticed more and more people turning to Facebook to vent. Guess what? That's cool. I do too. But, it's not cool when you vent in a way that winds up hurting others. I'll give you an example (DISCLAIMER: this example is fictional, however it is loosely based on crap I see all the time on Facebook. If for some reason, you think it's about you, maybe it's time to reevaluate how you use the platform).
“I'm over all the mean people. I've made the decision to walk away. When someone says (real life quote lifted from other persons wall), I just have to think you're toxic and move on…”
Well, this kind of person never really “moves on.” In fact, they continue to post vague, passive aggressive statuses over and over. And, they don't unfriend the other person either. To me, that sounds a little like bullying. Does it to you?
Wouldn't it be so much easier to just have a conversation where you lay the issues out on the table, see if you can come to some kind of middle ground and if not, agree to no longer be friends? Except that's not what this kind of person's trying to do. While they're taking the “high and mighty road” in their updates, they really are taking the down and dirty road in real life. They know the other person can read what they write. And, they also know that person can see who likes and comments on their status. Sounds a little like middle school to me.
I have an eighth grade daughter so we navigate situations like this every day. When someone says something mean about her IRL or online, I give her the best advice I can- confront them and tell them you don't appreciate it and ask them to stop or ignore them and move on. It's hard for her to make that decision sometimes. Both choices are difficult and many times the bullying continues no matter what choice she makes.
So, when I see adults turning Facebook into their own personal playground to hurt others, I sit and scratch my head. These are mothers intentionally hurting other people. They should know better and probably do and yet, they still don't care because they're bullies. Great parenting. Our kids model everything we do. You're teaching your kid to be the Mean Girl. Bravo.
I hate passive aggressive people. So, I'm going to call it like I see it on Dramabook this week. You got an open Facebook wall then everything you post is fair game.