I was thrilled to log onto my computer and see that I'm finally getting the attention I deserve. Today, is Short Girl Appreciation Day! Over the years, I've taken more than my share of short girl jokes. In fact, I have one friend that posts one almost every single week on my Facebook wall. I think short jokes are bullshit. We short people don't make fun of all you people who grew too tall. We simply don't care.
Why celebrate Short Girl Appreciation Day?
It's safer– No one wants to pick you for basketball or volleyball in gym class and when they do, you sit on the bench. No worries about an elbow in an eye when you're watching. Plus, we have fewer injuries from falls because we're closer to the ground.
You can be lazy– Can I reach that top shelf? Sure, if I didn't have you to do it for me. I could drag over a step stool and do it myself, but I have you so why? Also, I'm really not that weak, but if you want to carry all my stuff, knock yourself out.
Unlimited dating pool– There's no such thing as a guy too short and who cares how tall they are (see above mentioned laziness. The bigger the helper the better).
No waiting– We don't have to wait for a cashier to unlock the dressing room. We can crawl under and unlock it ourselves. Saves a lot of time.
What crowd?– While you're standing on the other side of a mass of people, we're waving at you from the other side. It's easy to push through a crowd when you're small.
Leg room– I don't mind flying. I'm not cramped in a tight little space. There's plenty of room for my short, little legs. And, I always have someone willing to fetch my carry on from the overhead bin.
Easier on the neck– So what if I have to look up at most people. I never, ever have to bend down to avoid hitting my head on anything.
It's economical– Since the average woman is 5′ 5″, there are a lot of leftover little clothes at the end of every season. I'm a penny pincher and like to save money. Works for me.
Excellent hiding places– Last week, I comfortably fit inside Cinderella's Castle in the Disney store. Would you look for me there? I think not.
Awesome Shoes– Never a worry about a heel too tall. Also, if you're lucky like me and have kid-sized feet, it saves some bucks.
Fitting anywhere– Only have a twin bed for me? Who cares? I fit. I also am comfortable on any size couch or curled up in a chair. Hell, size doesn't matter.
Life in the front row– Everyone feels sorry for the short person and let's them push to the front in a crowd. And, guess where we are in all the group pictures. Smack dab in the middle of the front row with a big grin.
The cute factor– If I had a dollar for every time someone said, “Aw, she's so cute” in my lifetime, I'd be rich. Sorry tall girls.
Awesome calves– So what if we spend a lot of time on our tiptoes. We have amazing calf muscles. Just a little extra exercise.
That youthful appearance– For some reason, all of us short girl's tend to look a little younger. While it sucks when you're 25 and getting carded, it's awesome when you're approaching 50.
And finally, all of us short girls can get away with selective hearing. Why? You have to lean down to talk to us and if you don't, we just can't seem to hear what you're saying.
What's your favorite thing about being short?