Having kids does not make you a good Dad. I’ve come to this conclusion over the past decade while I’ve watched my hubby (and thousands of others) attempt to be the perfect father (which is impossible BTW). Then there are guys that just don’t care. They think that because they fit the traditional definition of a father (yes, it was their sperm and they are still present in their child’s life), that it makes them a candidate for father of the year. Guess what? It doesn’t.
So, I’m sure you’re wondering where all this is coming from because I’m usually lighthearted (in a somewhat cynical kind of way). I hate deadbeat dads. I am sick and tired of hearing divorce horror stories where the dad cheated but yet he doesn’t have to pay child support. Or, alimony for that matter. If you want to really be a good father, find a way to amicably split and not financially devastate your former spouse which in fact really does hurt your kids making you a BAD dad. (And yes, I know that there are moms out there that do the same thing to their ex, so for the record, I have no respect for that either.)
A little advice: trashing your soon-to-be ex to your kids isn’t cute. Nor will it draw you closer to your children. It will only serve to show you as an angry, petty person and it will alienate your kids because they are uncomfortable around you. And, serial dating doesn’t help as well. It just makes you look needy and it’s really confusing to your kids. Also, stay off your social media for a while. Since everything’s public, it’s not helping your cause.
So what makes a good Dad in a situation like this? One that kicks back and puts family first realizing that while the relationship with your spouse didn’t work out, the one with your kids should. A good dad understands that childhood is just a short time and that your children deserve a chance to have a good one. A good dad understands that parenting is work and takes the opportunity to bring his children closer to him in an adverse situation.
Okay. I’ll get off my soapbox now (but I felt so tall for once.) Rant over.