Memory Lane Monday- Embarrass you? What’s a mother for?

This Memory Lane Monday post has me laughing. In 2010 when I wrote this piece for The Star’s mom2mom site, I felt bad that I embarrassed my tween. Four years have passed. I now look at embarrassing Rosie as a sport because it’s so easy. 

There are three evil words that I’ve tried to avoid in my career as a mother. They are hurtful and hateful and fill my heart with dread. And, I’ve known that I wouldn’t be able to avoid them forever; that my time would come.

 Last weekend, I sat on the curb in the heat with my Rosie. Her head was in her hands. Tears poured down her face. She looked up at me and choked back her sobs. I knew what was coming next.

 “Mama! Why did you have to tell her that? You EMBARRASSED me!” she screams.

 To be honest, what I said wasn’t that bad. I was on the phone with another mother when Rosie snuck up and overheard me discuss her behavior (and no I won’t repeat what I said). I got caught. And, it embarrassed her. Immediately, I was racked with guilt.

 I know a thing or two about being embarrassed. I learned from a master (which is why I try to avoid embarrassing Rosie in the first place). My own mother could embarrass me in about thirty seconds flat; without even trying. She could reduce me to tears. It was an art form.

 Take for example the Hardee’s incident (it will forever be branded as such. Still sends shivers down my spine). My mom had a “buy-one-get-one” coupon. Problem was she only wanted one of whatever it was. As I sat in a chair, trying to hide, she argued with the cashier.

 “Look!” she said. “It’s the same thing! How come I can’t get one for half price?”

 Eventually, the poor cashier got a manager. After a lot of yelling, the guy agreed that my mom was right. She got the sandwich. I got indigestion.

 Then there was the speeding ticket adventure. My mom had just come from the gym in her finest Flashdance workout attire (that’s the polite way of saying leotard, tights and legwarmers. I have to admit, she looked good. She just didn’t look like a mom).

 “Watch this!” she said as she unrolled the window. She puffed out her chest, batted her eyes and said, “Can I help you officer?”

 Long story short, she played dumb and talked her way out of a ticket. She was relieved. I, however, was utterly humiliated.

 I could go on for hours with examples of childhood embarrassment. It happened all the time. But, I have to confess, that as I grew older, it had a positive effect on my life.

 As embarrassing as my mom was, she really was cool (of course I was 30’ish when I figured this out); especially when I compared her to all the other mothers. As time passed, they began to age (in fact some of them grew downright old) while my mother seemed to stay her youthful self. I realized I was pretty lucky to have her.

 My mom taught me to be a fighter. She urged me to be persistent. And, I can thank her for my thick skin and wicked sense of humor.

And, here I am with Rosie sobbing uncontrollably in 90 degree heat. She’s the most angry I’ve ever seen her. And, it’s directed at me.

 “Mama! Why did you have to tell her that? You EMBARRASSED me!” she screams.

 I look into my child’s eyes and feel her pain. I understand how terrible it feels to be embarrassed. I get it. I’ve been there.

“Rosie, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I won’t do it again,” I say as I attempt to lean in and give her a hug (which she rebuffs).

 When she finally sinks into my arms, I hold her close. I know that I’ll do my best to not embarrass her. I also know that it will be impossible. This is probably the first time of many. I have too much of my mother in me.

 Ladies, I’m sure you’ve embarrassed your kids. Tell me your funny stories.