“Opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one…”
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard my dad say that in my life. Thousands. When I was younger, I’d just roll my eyes. But, then I grew up, had a child of my own and understood exactly what he meant.
The moment you conceive, all the advice starts. Everyone has an opinion on what you should eat, how often you should exercise and the supplements you should take. They also start giving all kinds of unsolicited advice- from what you should put on your registry to the kind of diapers you’ll want to use and why it’s super important that you breast feed for whatever period of time they did. And, it never stops. Actually, once the baby’s born it gets worse. Especially if you have a sick one.
Experts. All of the moms out there are experts and they’ve earned the right to call themselves that because they’ve lived through pregnancy, the pain of childbirth and they still have a living being running around town. They all have opinions and some of them are good. Especially when you solicit their advice. However, for some reasons, there are lots of moms that want to throw their two cents in all the time whether you ask or not. Back in 2000, when I had a very limited social media footprint and a child with severe GERD, I didn’t really care. I’d just thank the mom and walk away. If it sounded like a reasonable piece of advice, I’d try it. If not, I’d blow it off. Easy.
Today, it’s not as easy to avoid unsolicited advice. All I have to do is post on Facebook and I have a dozen people with a solution. A dozen opinions and usually eight of them are trying to sell me something to help my daughter’s migraines. The other four? At least two are trying to share a snippet they’ve seen online that may help and the other couple know that all I really want is to vent for a moment and move on with my day. You see, there’s no easy solution when you have a teen with pain problems. I get that.Tomorrow, we will finally get some opinions that really matter.
In late May, we were finally accepted into the Integrated Pain Management Clinic at our local children’s hospital. Our neurologist wanted to work with Rosie over the summer. Sadly, it’s almost over with school starting in two weeks, but our appointment’s a day away. Rosie will be one-on-one with our neurologist, a pain psychologist and massage therapist to teach her how to better manage her migraines. Then we’ll head to the Biofeedback clinic for a follow up visit.
I’m hoping that all four professionals will help her to better understand her body and the steps that she needs to take to lower her stress level to avoid a migraine in the first place. I’m also hoping that there’s open discussion with her about all the emotional crap that goes with having severe migraines and that it’s okay to be down every once in a while (while I can tell her that. I’m her mom and she doesn’t really believe me). I’m looking to the entire team to get us on the road to better pain management. I am a realist. I know that she may never be migraine-free but at least I’m hoping we can give her the coping mechanisms to deal with them.
As for the opinions. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful however, we’ve tried just about everything. A number of times. Holistic, dietary, supplements, essential oils. You name it, we’ve given it a whirl. So, while I know the majority of you are trying to help (yep, I’m acknowledging that there are people out there that I do believe just want to sell me stuff), I really don’t need any most of the time. I just need to be heard and feel like I have support. Fair?