Middle school love sucks. It did the first time I went through it and it's painful to watch the second time with a teenager. Plain and simple. But, I can't really tell my teen how I really feel about it as it will dash her hopes to find a knight in shining armor later (and she'll also never want to confide in me) So, I've really tried hard to give her good solid advice when it comes to navigating the puberty-filled cesspool we call middle school.
Here are the top ten things I wish my mom told me about middle school love all those years ago (and if you like, check out my ten things I wish my mom told me as a teen post too).
10. It's a game- Boys are fickle. One day they like you. The next day they don't. And, some days they like you and your best friend. I'm starting to think that they sit in the locker room with all the cool girls pics on a board, spin and that's who they like this week. (And, you know what? The same thing goes for some of the girls)
9. Don't fall into the “Oh, you'll make such a cute couple” trap– Peer pressure. Gotta love it. Just because your posse of friends thinks you'd look cute if you dated the tall basketball player doesn't mean he's the guy for you. And, why doesn't one of them want him in the first place? Makes a girl wonder.
8. Never date a boy that doesn't own a pair of pants-Ever sat through a middle school drop off lane when it's zero degrees in January? There are boys in shorts. That screams poor judgment to me (and we already know that teenage boys do stupid crap in the first place). How can any teen girl take them seriously?
7. Don't take the first guy that comes along- Yes, it's fun to post ” taken” on Instagram with your honey's name surrounded by hearts, but take your time to be sure you really like him. When in doubt of his intentions go back and read #10. Make sure he really likes you too. Remember, you don't have to date anyone. Period.
6. Take it slow– When you finally find the guy you like, you don't have to announce it to everyone right away. Take a couple of months to become good friends. Learn more about him. Once you've decided he likes his mother, gets good grades, has a sense of humor and is totally infatuated with you, THEN change your Instagram status.
5. Embrace the group date- In middle school these are your friends. While you're learning the ins and outs of how to get along with boys, it's always best to do so in a pack (and we won't let you do anything with a boy alone anyway). That way you're never uncomfortable or put into a situation that makes you so. And, guess what? Parental supervision is not a bad thing.
4. Your BFF's don't need to know all your secrets- If you follow #5 (which you should), you'll be out with lots of kids and your besties are going to want to know all the down and dirty details of your relationship. Guess what? They don't need to know it all. How many teenage girls do you know that keep all your confidences. Not many.
3. Be smart with your social media– In my day, it was called passing notes. Today it's called SnapChat and Instagram. Both need to be PG at all times. Period.
2. THAT girl will wind up in trouble– See her over there flirting with all the boys? She stole someone's boyfriend last week and then changed her mind and decided to like another guy? There's a reason the guys like her and you want nothing to do with that, I promise. However, remember her name when she's missing sophomore year for a few months.
1. You only get one first kiss-There are no do over's when it comes to that first kiss so choose wisely. You'll remember it the rest of your life. Make sure you hold out for the right guy, right time and right place. And, make sure your Daddy never finds out so you have a chance for a second one.
What do you wish your mom told you about middle school love??