If you didn’t hear that in Matthew McConaughey’s voice, then you’re not as addicted to the Calm app as me. My favorite sleep story, starts with those three words. His voice is soothing and lulls me to sleep. What’s the story about? I have no idea, because about five minutes in, I’m out like a light. I can fall asleep to Matthew pretty quickly.
So what does that have to do with writing? I find writing soothing as well. There’s something cathartic about sitting in front of the computer to let the words spill out. It’s calming.
When I started writing in 2009, I had no plan. I wrote about motherhood and was blessed to have a story to tell every week. So many funny things happened and it was easy to narrate normal childhood for the first few years. Then a blob of blood happened and everything changed.
The first few years, I continued to tell our story. I wanted to help others through our search for answers. And, I did until my teenager decided she didn’t want her struggle to be so public. So I stopped.
In 2019, I thought I’d start again. Unfortunately, everything in our lives was quite honestly, upended. My Rosie was wasting away in front of our eyes. No one would help us. Doctors didn’t believe us and she was honestly, going to die, unless we got some help.
We did in May 2020, in the middle of the Pandemic. She got the operation that we thought would save her life. It didn’t. Three years and four operations later, our twenty-two year-old child is in hospice care. We’re all faced with the reality that she will not be with us forever. And, it’s time once again, for me to get back to telling our story.
A few weeks ago, I noticed an increase in Facebook stalking me with memories. Years of posts about hospital stays, prayers needed and all the details of Rosie’s journey. And, I realized, that I hadn’t documented any of it anywhere else. I’ve always said that there’s a book (or a series), to be written. If I don’t start writing again, it will never happen. So, here I am.
I’m going to start writing again for me. If it happens to help another family along the way, it will be a blessing. If it just winds up being a very public way to journal, then that makes me happy as well.
I have no desire to go back to full-time blogging right now. Just an urge to write. If you choose to join me, then I have to say, “Well, hello there.” And, if you find yourself staring at the ceiling in the middle of the night, get the Calm app. My friend, Matthew, will soothe you.